Mistakes that aggravate fights: A therapist explains
Here are a few faults we do when fighting in a relationship, ranging from stonewalling to criticizing the partner’s character.
Having disagreements in a relationship is natural. When two people with opposing viewpoints strive to be in a relationship, arguments are unavoidable. Contrary to common assumption, disputes are helpful because they let us see the other person’s point of view and get to know and understand them. The way we communicate during a dispute and how we make up after a fight reflects the state of our relationship. “Convert fights into bond-building opportunities!” Disagreements occur, but they do not have to ruin your relationship. “Learn the top 5 argument mistakes to avoid and how to have healthier disagreements that strengthen your bond,” Therapist Benjamin Ekorhi stated as he described the flaws we must avoid when we disagree.
Attacking the partner’s character: One of the most common mistakes we do when communicating in a battle is attacking the partner’s character. Instead of focusing on the issue that requires our attention, we concentrate on how the partner is handling the situation. This may irritate the spouse and divert attention away from the problem at hand.
Bringing up old grievances: Bringing up old grievances will simply divert our attention away from the problem at hand and cause us to become agitated. Keeping track of mistakes is another destructive approach of interacting with a partner.
Making exaggerated allegations: When we make accusations about our partners, we should be mindful of our tone and phrasing. Small things in a quarrel can act as triggers for people, and making exaggerated allegations can escalate the conflict.
Refusing to listen: One of the most common mistakes we make in a fight is failing to listen and instead responding. We will know which way to continue forward to discover a solution if we try to pause, listen closely to the partner’s perspective, and try to understand what they are trying to communicate.
Stonewalling: Withdrawing totally from the debate and not listening to the partner is a technique of punishing them and making them feel guilty for bringing up the topic that is hurting them. It is a really toxic habit.